You cheat, I already admit defeat.
By marrying you; must I stay true?
I need attention, and I must mention
I’m marrying you to get your pension.
You love a huge selection, forget perfection.
Your taste in women undergoes inﬂection.
In all disgust, our love goes bust
Because of that silly thing called lust.
I’m quite forlorn for
Our marriage you won’t mourn.
Have me sit on something for self-sacriﬁce.
Pour wine over me, kill me with one slice.
We can do this now—there’s the altar!
Sacriﬁce me now, my rock of—well, you falter.
Long as you follow these vows,
Adultery I will allow:
Support me forever through time.
Pay my medical bills, don’t commit crimes.
Maintain our abode,
If I have a rough day—dear God, goad.
Pick up from the ﬂoor,
Stay away from being poor.
Escort as many escorts happily—
But bring nothing home to me!